JESUS THE MASTER OF SARCASM
By O. Khodjo
Welcome to mis-translations and mis-interpretations
I have received more than a few emails from my detractors criticizing the fact that I sometimes sound angry in my writings, speak with an edge in my voice, and also use sarcasm. None of these are rehearsed or planned. I write as the Spirit moves me. But some feel that this is unacceptable. They state that I am not being Christ-like, and that Jesus would not approve of the tone of my writing. That this alone should be proof enough for anyone that I am not a man of God, and my papers are not of God. They further suggest Jesus would NEVER, EVER speak with such a cutting tone of voice as I sometimes use.
Oh Really?
I am but a novice at sarcasm; Jesus was a Master.
There is a time for humour and there is a time to get serious. Sarcasm can be serious business. I do not use it to elicit laughs. I am not naive of the fact that most people do not want to hear the Truth.
The purpose of this paper is not solely to defend my style of writing, (God only knows that I do not profess to be a scholar, nor a polished orator, nor a man of eloquent words), but to rather see by whose authority I do this. We will examine whether Jesus Christ Himself did not indeed use sarcasm, exaggeration, caricature, satire, irony, and anger to get across His Gospel Message.
I am now sure why it is automatically assumed that if one sounds angry there is something wrong with his message. When speaking of immoral and evil things that hurt and deceive people, it behooves us to be ANGRY about such things. Anger does not have to be a sin. God’s anger is mentioned a couple of hundreds times in Scripture. Many of the teachings of the Church are not only evil, but they are stupid and foolish. Sarcasm is a perfect exposer of stupidity.
HOW JESUS ‘UPBRAIDED’ THE CITIES
"Then began He [Jesus] to UPBRAID [Greek: oneidizo] the cities wherein most of His mighty words were done, because they repented not" (Matt. 11:20)."Blessed are ye, when men shall REVILE [Greek: oneidizo] you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you FALSELY, for my sake" (Matt. 5:11).
Notice please, that Jesus "upbraided" the cities TRUTHFULLY, while He said men would "revile" His true followers, FALSELY. The same Greek word is used to describe both. No matter how stern or cutting our Lord’s words might have been, they always were TRUTHFUL! As for any sarcasm and anger that Jesus exhibited, your argument must be with Him and not me.
Clearly, oneidizo is not a pleasant word; not when Jesus used it and not when persecutors used it. The difference is that Jesus spoke the TRUTH when He used this word, but the persecutors speak FALSELY when they use it.
What does it mean when it says that Jesus began to "upbraid" the cities where He taught?
I will consult Strong’s Dictionary of the New Testament to help us define this word, because if I were to define it myself and tell you what it means, NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ME! Oneidizo is a POWERFUL word of rebuke and condemnation.
Here is the definition:
Strong’s Greek Dictionary, "#3679, oneidizo, from #3681 [notoriety, that is a taunt (disgrace):--a reproach] to defame, i.e. rail at, chide, taunt:--upbraid, reproach, revile, cast in (one’s) teeth" (page 179)"
Notoriety: notorious, ill fame, infamous
Taunt: reproach, mocking, insulting, contemptuous, scornful, tirade
Disgrace: loss of honour, shame, disapproval, disfavour, discredit
Reproach: disapproval, criticism, disappointment, shame, disgrace, blame, rebuke
Defame: to attack or damage the character or reputation of
Rail: to express objections or criticism in bitter, harsh, or abusive language
Chide: scold, correct, improve, reprimand, disapproval, strife, contention
That should settle any questions as to what "upbraid" means. Let me be quick to add, that not every word used to define the words that define oneidizo are always 100% applicable when a word such as "upbraid" is used to translate that Greek word.
It is possible to condemn the sinful actions and teachings of men without hating the men who commit these things. Jesus loved everyone. Jesus died for everyone. Jesus forgave everyone. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him before He expired. As I have said many times, except for the grace of God, anyone of us could have been any of the world’s most evil people. We are saved in God’s grace, not by our cleverness in choosing to follow and obey God. Grace CAUSES us to obey God. Carnality CAUSES men to disobey God. It is that simple. And so we expose, exhort, teach, challenge, forgive, and LOVE. That these can take the form of sarcasm, exaggeration, satire, irony, anger, and LOVE, are clearly demonstrated by the examples of our Lord.
Now then, let’s see some examples of "upbraiding" used by our Lord in preaching the Gospel of the Kingdom of God:
After the high priest asked Jesus about His disciples and teachings, Jesus said:
"‘Why are you asking Me this question? Ask those who heard me. You have some of them here. They know what I said.’ One of the soldiers standing there struck Jesus WITH HIS FIST. ‘Is THAT THE WAY to answer the High Priest?’ he demanded" (John 18:21-22, The Living Bible).
One of the guards felt that Jesus was contemptuous and out of line. The guard slapped Jesus in the mouth with the palm of his hand and told Him to WATCH HIS MOUTH when speaking to the High Priest! The guard was letting Jesus know in no uncertain terms, that one does not speak to such a dignified person as the High Priest with such a demeaning tone of voice! What would you think if someone were to address the Pope with this same tone of voice as Jesus used on the High Priest? Would you too think that someone ought to slap his face for talking that way to the Pope? Well? Was our Lord too smart for His britches? Was His language and tone of voice to be condemned by a punch in the mouth?
Jesus TOLD THE TRUTH. Jesus called a spade a spade. And many people thought He was a contemptuous smart aleck! HE WAS NOT! It was the Truth of His words that cut them; not the tone of His words. However, the tone of His voice and the selection of words and analogies that He used were not only highly offensive to those whom He spoke, but are likewise offensive to people hearing this same approach used today by God’s servants.
LET THE DEAD BURY THEIR DEAD
"And another of His disciples said unto Him, Lord, allow me first to go and bury my father. But Jesus said unto him, Follow Me, and LET THE DEAD BURY THEIR DEAD" (Matt. 8:21-22).Do you think maybe that particular disciple was offended by his Master’s words? Jesus was saying that those preparing this funeral and burial were AS DEAD as the corpse they were about bury! Jesus asked this disciple to "follow Me" and let DEAD people take care of DEAD matters. After all, this was the disciple’s OWN FATHER! Are we not to "HONOR our father and mother?" Of course we are, but when Jesus asks us to follow Him, then our allegiance to our parents, children, or loved ones take second place to that command. We must be willing to FORSAKE ALL to follow Jesus! Jesus was leading this disciple to things of LIFE, while he would sooner attend to things of DEATH. One cannot serve two masters.
FASTING HYPOCRITES
"Moreover when you fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance [‘don’t look like those miserable play-actors’ Phillips Translation]: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast" (Matt. 6:16).Jesus could have just told them how to fast properly. But no, He first told them how NOT to fast, by exposing the hypocrisy of the religious leaders of the day. Jesus was a Master of sarcasm and satire. Jesus called them "hypocrites" and said their religion was as FAKE AS THEY WERE! But it was the TRUTH of His infallible statements that really cut them. After all, the Word of God is like a SHARP two-edged sword. It CUTS to the marrow of the bond. They were, as many still ARE, fakers and "play-actors".
CAST OUT THE LOG FROM YOUR EYE
"Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the mote out of your eye; and, behold, a BEAM [a PLANK, a LOG] is in your own eye?" (Matt. 7:4).What? Talk about exaggeration! Jesus didn’t suggest that first brother had a toothpick in his eyes hindering him from helping his brother to retrieve a small mote, but rather a log, a beam, a timber. A log is a billion times larger than a mote, which is a tiny speck. Don’t try and take a speck of dirt out of your brother’s eye when you have a GIANT REDWOOD TREE growing out of your own eye! But who is so naive as to not immediately comprehend the profound meaning and simple truth of this parable? It is Christ’s GROSS EXAGGERATION that makes this parable so profoundly clear and truthful.
This parable cannot be literally true, however it is absolutely spiritually true. People who often try to remove a character flaw from a friend or associate, have themselves, GIANT character flaws far more weighty than those they try to correct in others.
DISCIPLES ARE CALLED ‘EVIL’
"Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent [snake]? If ye [Gk: all of you] then, BEING EVIL, know how to give good gifts unto your children…" (Matt. 7:9-10).Remember that it was Christ’s "disciples" that He was teaching here on the mount (Matt. 5:1). Jesus called His Own disciples "EVIL"! Would you have been offended if Christ had called you, "evil"?
PEACE OR SWORD?
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, BUT A SWORD" (Matt. 10:34).Anyone offended by this statement of our Lord? Isn’t our Lord "The Prince of Peace?" Of course, few there be that understand this parable. Jesus did not come to bring ARMIES OF ARMED MEN to do battle on this earth. He came with "A SWORD"! His WORD is the "sword."
"For THE WORD OF GOD is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any TWO-EDGED SWORD, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart" (Heb. 4:12).
Well, who then is the enemy of God’s Word that we do battle against with this spiritual sword?
"And a man’s foes [Gk: ‘enemies’] shall be they of his own household" (Matt. 10:36).
Which ‘household’ includes the church itself (Eph. 2:19).
CHRIST DEMANDS MORE THAN EQUAL LOVE
"He that loves father or mother more than Me is NOT WORTHY of Me: and he that loves son or daughter more than Me is NOT WORTHY of Me" (Matt. 10:37).Anyone offended by that Statement of our Lord? Do you think it was wrong of our Lord to suggest that we must love Him MORE than our own parents and children?
JESUS CALLS THE JEWS, WOLVES
"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of WOLVES…" (Matt. 10:16).Jesus called the citizens of Jerusalem and Judea "wolves." Does that offend anyone?
GOD DOESN’T CHOOSE PANSIES TO DO HIS WORK
"And as they departed, Jesus began to say unto the multitudes concerning John, ‘What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with the wind? But what went you out for to see? A man clothed in SOFT RAIMENT [‘a man dressed in SILKS AND SATINS?’—Williams Translation] behold, they that wear soft clothing [‘Behold they which are GORGEOUSLY APPARELED {DRESSED}, and live DELICATELY {in LUXURY}, Luke 7:25], are in kings’ houses" (Matt. 11:7-8).Is this not a taunting, sarcastic remark? He asked them what spectacle they expected to see out there in the wilderness—a blade of grass swaying in the wind? Some patsy that would be blown away by the softest summer breeze? Jesus was asking these religious sophisticates whether they thought a real man of God would look like some, prim and prissy, prudish, punctilious, polished, patrician of the kings court? Is THAT what kind of a man you went out to see? Someone who would never deign to gets his fingernails dirty?
The religious leaders WERE OFFENDED by the rough presence of John the Baptist. But what is the Truth? What kind of a man was this John the Baptizer who was
"…clothed with camel’s hair, and with girdle of a skin about his loins; and he did eat locusts and wild honey" (Mark 1:6)?
Here’s the Truth:
"For I say unto you, Among those that are born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist…" (Luke 7:28).
WAS CHRIST A COMMON CRIMINAL?
The Chief Priest, scribes and elders sent"a great multitude with swords and clubs" "And Jesus answered and said unto them, Are ye come out, as against a thief[robber], with swords and with staves [clubs] to take me?" (Mark 14:43 & 48)
Why did Jesus have to say ANYTHING? Why this smart, sarcastic remark? Because He wanted them to see the TRUTH of their ways. They KNEW Jesus was not a man of violence. They KNEW He never harmed anyone. They KNEW he never resisted evil, and taught His disciples to "turn the other cheek." With all that in mind, Jesus asks them if they think they have enough manpower, armaments, and weapons to apprehend Him, as though He were a common criminal that might try to escape or overpower them. Jesus was a Master of Sarcasm! He was "in their face"!
LOVE NOT THE WORLD
"Beware of the teachers of religion! For they love to wear the robes of the rich and scholarly, and to have everyone bow to them as they walk through the markets. They love to sit in the best seats in the synagogues, and at the places of honor at banquets—But they shamelessly cheat widows out of their homes and then, to cover up the kind of men they really are, they pretend to be pious by praying long prayers in public. Because of this, their punishment will be the greater" (Mark 12:38-40,The Living Bible).Jesus is telling us of self-appointed pastors who fraudulently steal widow’s welfare checks so that they can live in the lap of luxury and ease. Jesus calls them "pretenders" (fakes, imposters). Has anyone noticed that the elitists of Christianity also love the chief seats in church, at banquets, and loved to be called by their holy titles (Reverend, Your Holiness, Right Reverend, Most Reverend, Father, Holy Father, Rabbi, etc., etc.)
Do those who covet being called by these titles really LOVE God, Who says:
"…HOLY and REVEREND is HIS [GOD’S] NAME [not man’s name]" (Psalm 111:9b)
"But be not you called Rabbi… And call no man your father… neither be you called masters [Lord]: for One is your Master, even Christ" (Matt. 23:8-10).
And let’s not forget man’s listing of academic degrees and achievements.
The Scribes and the Pharisee asked Jesus why His disciple TRANSGRESSED the tradition of the elders? Jesus threw the question right back into their faces:
"But He answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandments of God by YOUR tradition?… You HYPOCRITES…" (Matt. 15:3 & 7)
THEY PROFESS—BUT THEY LIE
Why did Jesus speak with such "in your faced sarcasm?" Because the people that Jesus was correcting were "hypocrites." Maybe a definition of hypocrisy is in order here:"hypocrisy n. 1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness" (The American heritage College Dictionary p. 683). (Underlined emphasis is mine).
They "professed" to be true, what in their own lives WAS FALSE! What does Paul tell us about those who "profess," but are hypocrites?
"They PROFESS that they know God; but in works they deny Him, being ABOMINABLE, and DISOBEDIENT, and unto every good work REPROBATE" (Titus 1:16).
ABOMINABLE, DISOBEDIENT, REPROBATE! Are these words strong enough to make Paul’s point? Many many pastors of the church profess that they LOVE GOD; they profess that they LOVE THEIR NEIGHBORS; then even profess that they LOVE THEIR ENEMIES, but in works they deny Him:
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man LOVE THE WORLD, THE LOVE OF THE FATHER ISNOT IN HIM" (I John 2:15)
Yet WHO "loves the world" more than the tens of thousands of money-hungry, vanity-filled, power-crazed, lovers of worldliness and worldly pleasures who call themselves "pastors?" Do they "love their neighbours" when they fraudulently and unscripturally extort widows’ welfare checks to sustain their uncontrollable lusts for materialism?
TODAY’S RECRUITS ARE TOMORROW’S HERETICS
…."Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you compass SEA AND LAND to make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of “hell” [hades—the grave] than yourselves"… (Matt. 23:1-39)Sarcasm! Jesus said that they would scour the whole planet for just one convert that would then continue their heresy with TWICE the vigour of their teachers.
MAN’S GREATER SIN IS TRYING TO BE HOLY
"You blind guides, which strain out a gnat and SWALLOW A CAMEL" (Matt. 23:24).Exaggerated sarcasm! One cannot literally "swallow a camel." But SPIRITUALLY, this is exactly what they were doing. The itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy, flaws of their spiritual lives that they attempted to clean up in their lives, versus the GIGANTIC spiritual character flaws that they did NOTHING to change, were truly comparable to a "gnat versus a camel."
DON’T WASTE GOD’S WORD ON SPIRITUAL PIGS
Remember that Jesus only taught in parables. Did Jesus say: "Don’t bother teaching the truth to those who don’t want to hear it?" That would have been clear enough: "Don’t try to teach the truth to those who do not desire the truth." Simple. Oh, No, Jesus would never say it like that. Here is how Jesus would say that same thing:"Give not that which is holy unto THE DOGS, neither cast your pearls BEFORE SWINE, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and REND you [‘…TEAR YOU IN PIECES’ Goodspeed Translation]" (Matt. 7:6).
I have had this happen to me many times by clergymen of the Church. I give them God’s Pure Word, they spiritually "trample it under their feet" and then spiritually try to "tear me in pieces." Atheists and heathens have never treated me this way—only professing Christians. I do not get many emails from atheists, but I do get some, and all but one were polite and considerate in their comments. Now I am well aware of the fact that missionaries have been virtually torn to peaches by heathens, but thankfully this is not the norm.
JESUS USED SARCASM ON SATAN
Jesus on once told Satan to: "Get thee BEHIND ME, Satan" (Mark 8:33). Why, "behind" Him? Because it was offensive to Jesus to have Satan in FRONT of Him. Satan has no business IN FRONT of Jesus. Jesus told Satan to: Get out of my FACE, Satan!JESUS WAS NOT COMMISSIONED TO BLESS THE DOGS
Everyone in ancient Judea knew that the Jews likened the Gentiles to "dogs." When a woman of Canaan asked Jesus for help, Jesus said to her in Matt. 15:26-28):"It is not meet to take the children’s bread and to cast it to DOGS."
Actually the Greek here is "puppies" (very young dogs), but nonetheless, "dogs." Wouldn’t most consider it a little sarcastic to call a woman asking for help, "a dog?"
This woman was pretty sharp. Not to be outdone, she answered Jesus back with a little of her own sarcasm:
"And she said, Truth, Lord; YET the dogs eat of the crumbs [she wasn’t asking a steak dinner for eight] which fall from their masters’ table!"
Then Jesus, Who always played fair and was a good sport, said back to her:
O woman [Paraphrased: ‘You got Me that time, woman’], GREAT IS YOUR FAITH: BE IT UNTO YOU EVEN AS YOU WILL"!
TRILLIONS OF GALLONS OF WATER TO DROWN ONE MAN
"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in Me, it were better for Him that a MILLSTONE were hanged about his neck and that he were DROWNED IN THE DEPTH OF THE SEA" (Matt. 18:6).That’s a little "overkill," wouldn’t you think? Like killing a mosquito with a baseball bat? Jesus could have said it would have been better if he "died" or were "drowned." Why a millstone and drowned in the depth of the sea? A person can be drowned by holding his face in a small bucket of water.
Jesus used POWERFUL, EXAGGERATED, SARCASM to show His UTTER CONTEMPT for such wicked sins as these!
WHEN LIGHT IS DARKNESS
"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore, your eye be single, your whole body shall be full of light. But if your eye be evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the LIGHT that be in you is DARKNESS, how great is that darkness!" (Matt. 6:22-23).What? If the LIGHT that be in you is DARKNESS? Isn’t that a little demeaning and sarcastic to say that even our own goodness is evil (dark)? This is not only an exaggeration; this is a physiological IMPOSSIBILITY! Yes, a "physiological" impossibility, but NOT A SPIRITUAL impossibility! Jesus is saying that even the supposed "goodness" (light) in us, is actually "evil." (darkness). How can that be? Because, "…None is good, save One, that is , GOD" (Luke 18:18).
AN ANGRY CHRIST IN A DEN OF THIEVES
Did JESUS ever get angry over crime and corruption within the church?"And they came to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to CAST OUT them that sold and bought in the temple, and OVERTURNED the table of the money-changers, and the SEATS of them that sold doves: And would NOT ALLOW that any man should carry any wares through the temple" (Matt. 11:15-16).
Now then, were any of these activities being performed in the Temple, ILLEGAL? No, they were not. The officers of the Temple allowed it according to their laws, and the Roman Government allowed it according to their laws. So these merchants in the Temple were not criminals. Or were they?
Jesus said they were CRIMINALS! But woe unto me if I should suggest that this same buying and selling in the Churches today is criminal. It IS criminal, I assure you. And they do FAR WORSE! They not only sell trinkets and religious junk in the Church, they MAKE MERCHANDISE OF THE VERY WORD OF GOD ITSELF. THEY SELL THE WORD OF GOD FOR PROFITS! Here is what Christ said concerning their activities of buying and selling in the Temple:
"And He taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the House of Prayer? But you have made it a DEN OF THIEVES" (Mark 11:17)!
Does anyone believe that Jesus was SMILING while He turned over their tables and call them a "DEN OF THIEVES"?
ANSWERING A FOOL ACCORDING TO A FOOL
The proverb tells us to "Answer a fool according to a fool." Jesus was a Master at doing this. The Chief Priest and Elders of the temple asked Jesus by what authority He did the things that He did. Here then is my favourite New Testament sarcasm by Jesus:"And Jesus answered and said unto them, I also will ask you one thing, which IF you tell me, I in like wise will tell you by what authority I do these things. The baptism of John, whence was it? From heaven, or of men? And they reasoned with themselves, saying, If we shall say, From heaven; He will say unto us, Why did you not then believe him? But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet. And they answered Jesus, and said, we cannot tell.
And He said unto them, NEITHER TELL I YOU by what authority I do these things" (Matt. 21:24-27)!
Sarcasm? Maybe. But SHEER GENIUS!
JESUS, WHY DO YOU SOUND SO SARCASTIC AND ANGRY?
"But WOE [Deep DISTRESS, MISERY, GRIEF, MISFORTUNE, CALAMITY, SORROW, DISMAY] unto you, scribes and Pharisees, HYPOCRITES… FOR YOU SHUT UP THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN AGAINST MEN…WOE unto you, scribes and Pharisees, HYPOCRITES… you DEVOUR WIDOW’S HOUSES…
WOE unto you, scribes and Pharisees, HYPOCRITES…
WOE unto you, ye BLIND GUIDES…
You FOOLS AND BLIND…
You FOOLS AND BLIND…
WOE unto you, scribes and Pharisees, HYPOCRITES! You… have omitted… JUDGMENT, MERCY, and FAITH…
You BLIND GUIDES…
WOE unto you, scribes and Pharisees, HYPOCRITES…
You BLIND PHARISEES…
Woe UNTO YOU, SCRIBES AND Pharisees, HYPOCRITES! You are FULL OF HYPOCRISY AND INIQUITY…
WOE unto you, scribes and Pharisees, HYPOCRITES!… you are the children of them which KILLED the prophets. Fill YOU up then the measure of your fathers.
You SERPENTS, you GENERATION OF SNAKES… you KILL AND CRUCIFY… you SCOURGE in your synagogues… Behold your house is left unto you DESOLATE"!!! (Selections from Matt. 23)
Let me borrow a few statements from my detractors emails to me, if I may.
"Why do you feel so much anger in your teachings khodjo?
"I find it difficult to concentrate on the subject matter for all the sarcasm and innuendoes that are scattered throughout your teachings khodjo"
"Enjoy reading your stuff khodjo, but I feel there is somebody who upset you along the way and that you need to forgive them…SOON…"
And this one just came in minutes before press time:
"Wow, what venom! …please use more caution, discretion, and wisdom, and less personal rancor in your writings and/or teachings." For your information, rancor means: "Bitter long-lasting resentment; deep-seated ill will, rancid smell, to stink, be rotten." I would say that is pretty close to slander. However, Not to worry—"sticks and stones…"
"Oh khodjo, oh khodjo, you sound so… so, angry."
Maybe it is about time some of you started to feel a little anger toward all the spiritual swill and filth that is merchandized and peddled to the world in the name of Christianity! And for those few who are teaching the true Gospel of Jesus Christ, GOD BLESS YOU ONE AND ALL!
If I tried to write and speak like all the intellectuals of this world, it wouldn’t be me. And if Jesus removed all the sarcasm's, exaggerations and what Mr. Spock calls, ‘colourful metaphors,’ it wouldn’t be Jesus either.
I may use sarcasm, and at times get angry, but I tell you in all truthfulness: I am in DEAD EARNEST about what I teach and why I teach it. My papers are not perfect by any means, but THEY ARE SCRIPTURALLY SOUND! When I am proven wrong on a point of Scripture or doctrine, I correct it.
And so if you wish to continue reading my papers, you will have to expect more of the same. With regards to curtailing my sarcasm: As I told my reader: "Not to worry: Can a leopard change his spots?"
